This article is for you…
♥ … if you feel frustrated by a man exchanging messages with you back and forth but not moving things forward and asking you on a real date.
♥ …if you already know that you do not want to take on the masculine role in this relationship and just move things forward yourself.
♥ …if you want to learn how to go about this situation like a Modern Queen; Empowered and feminine.
As a dating and relationship coach for women, I am very passionate about online dating. Partly because that is how I met my husband, partly because I really know how to get my clients success in it too. All whilst having fun. Here are my 3 steps for getting real dates:
1.) Do not engage in and do not feed ‘Texting Loops’.
You know you are in a “texting loop” with a man when you keep writing back and forth, sending small messages during the day, for days, sometimes weeks, with a man you’ve never met. It has become a habit and with each message, the chances that this will lead to more is becoming lower.
In my work, the purpose of online dating is to get matched, make a connection and then meet for a short coffee date in real life to see how it feels and works face to face.
Of course, there is an initial period of time before he will ask you out, during which you chat a bit and maybe speak over the phone. But then there is a tipping point when it is time to move things to a meeting in person.
How can you make sure you do not miss this?
2.) What to do instead: using my Modern Queen Script.
If until reading this you have engaged in texting loops because you thought this makes him like you more and builds a bond, please know that as much as this may make sense to you, it does not work that way.
Your best bet here is to set a (time) limit for yourself. Once you have made introductions and have assessed that he would be worth your time to meet, if he has not yet asked you out you can send him this Modern Queen Script:
“I enjoy writing with you and it makes me feel very good/happy. And you seem interesting. I am not very much into texting and online life. I like meeting in real life and see how it feels there.”
And that is it. Over to him.
This way you did not take on the role of the masculine energy partner. Which would be, something along the lines of “Hey boy, you are cute can I treat you to a coffee?” (I am overdoing it a bit here just for fun, but think you get the point).
3.) What happens next?
Now that you have left the ball in his court, he will either step up and ask you out and be happy that you gave him the signal to do so. Or he will step down, make an excuse, disappear completely or just try to keep wasting your time by continuing to text back and forth. Either way is fine and I am asking you to not write back and forth with him any more at this point.
A man who is looking to meet women in real life and is interested in you will take this chance to meet you. Anything other than this can be released.
Update: if you are currently in a region where you are instructed to stay at home to prevent COVID-19 from spreading. You can get in touch with me and I can help and advise you how to still get to know men and see whether they are a match for you or not.
Love is going to strive in times like these, not put on hold.
Because times like these remind us of what really matters: love and connection and times like these allow you to slow down and focus on what really matters, hint online dating and finding your soulmate king.