The rules, the rules … The rules can make your head spin and leave you confused, especially when you are new to this work of Modern Queen Lifestyle and Feminine and Masculine Energy. Do you find yourself thinking, maybe overthinking, and it leaves you exhausted and annoyed? Let’s stop this from happening in its tracks!
♥ If your thoughts are similar to these here:
“I want to go, but I can’t because he has to ask me in advance and if I agree to the last minute date, he will think less of me. But if I do not go now, he might not ask again.”
♥ Then this article is written for you.
1.) Let us put the rules in their place.
“Rules” are meant to be a guidance and knowledge you can make yours. The rules help you understand certain principles, of how to create Masculine and Feminine Energy balance in your romantic relationship and within yourself.
However, following the rules to the teeth and becoming inflexible about them, is an expression of insecurity and lack of flow and lack of more profound understanding of yourself and my work.
My work is all about knowledge (masculine Energy) and intuition trust in yourself and flow (feminine Energy).
I want you to come to a point where you “know” the rules, and you have the knowledge of a Modern Queen. And yet, which is a big part of being a Modern Queen you are in tune with your emotions, Energy and intuition. Energy overrides the rules, always. This is how you breathe life into an otherwise rigid system of rules and use them as reference and support. The goal is that you learn to fill the stable construct of guidelines with your authentic Energy.
2.) When to say ‘Yes’ and how you know it is a ‘Yes’.
I was at home on a regular Wednesday, my husband and I had planned a cosy night in and I expected him home as he said at 7ish. I am standing in the kitchen around 5 pm, wondering what we would have for dinner—not finding myself in the mood to cook. About 10 minutes later, I get a call from him asking if I want to come to the city to eat out and go for a walk at the River Liffey. Should I say ‘No’ now following the rules? That he should have told me earlier and that I am not available just like that? Well, if I had already sorted myself out, maybe was going to talk to my sister and eating my dinner. Sure I would have said No. Stayed in and did whatever I felt like doing with my evening.
But at the time he called. Well, it was a perfect fit, and why would I deny myself? Because of the rules and principles? And then not feel good about it? No.
So I left my kitchen and the question of what to cook, be. Put on my coat and grabbed my handbag. I got to enjoy delicious pasta with my husband smiling about how much I can eat and how much I enjoy food.
How do you know is it a ‘Yes’?
It is a ‘Yes’, if it fits and suits you and works for what you were doing and feels fun. It is a ‘Yes’, if it will NOT make you resentful, stressed or annoyed and feeling you did go out of your way because you changed plans. And your true ‘Yes’, does not come from a place of fear or urgency to reject or lose him.
Deep down inside, you know when it is a ‘NO’. I tell my clients that we can feel ‘No’ in our body. Something doesn’t feel right and inspiring. Why don’t you act on it? Because of fear to upset, let down or pure bloody urgency that you will lose him over this? Put on your crown and do better than that!
No, you cannot lose him over this, and if you do, it is not a loss but good riddance. It makes space for kings. Men who respect a ‘No’ and love a Lady who says ‘No’ and expresses her boundaries. If you do not follow through on your ‘No’, you are making yourself unhappy. And as grown-up women, a Modern Queen that is not on him and does not make him bad. It is yours to take charge of.
3.) When and how you say ‘No’ to a last-minute date.
So if you are all heavy and constricted by the rules, you will falsely assume that you can not accept a last-minute date, because as a woman who respects herself he should know better and yada yada yada … By now, we know this is not true. You can do anything you like because you are the Queen of Your Life. Be wild and crazy as much as you please. And of course say ‘No’, if it is a ‘No’.
If you have already settled in on a Friday night, let us say you washed your hair put on a mask and cuddled up on the couch in comfortable pyjamas. Popcorn or fruits and chocolate is sitting on the coffee table. Reading a book or watching a romantic movie. And then he calls “Hey sugar what’s up? Wanna meet like in 5 min?” Hell no, sugar does not have time; she has set up and planned for her lovely evening already. And will not throw that overboard and jump just like that. So a Modern Queen script would be. “Oh, thank you that would feel nice some other time when I know in advance. I already have plans for this evening. See you.” And off you go to your coach and proceed.
If you enjoyed this article and related to the idea of being educated and empowered with knowledge (masculine) and at the same time being deeply connected to your intuition, fun and flow (feminine), you are a Modern Queen.