Who picks up the check on a date?

The simple answer is; the Masculine Energy partner. 🙂 

This article is for you …

… if you feel confused about who is “supposed to do’ what in a modern, equal relationship.

… if want to understand the difference between a romantic relationship and a friendship. 

… if you want to know how you can still give do your part, without unintentionally killing a man’s romantic attraction for you. 

Why is it masculine Energy to pick up the check?

Picking up the check on a date is a nurturing masculine thing to do. Can you allow yourself to feel how attractive it can feel to allow a man to do that for you and relax in your worth of receiving this? Without feeling compelled, you need to pay 50% or give something back to him right away. How does that feel? 

Many women who are new to this work feel uncomfortable and struggle with being in feminine receiving mode. Top reason can be the fear this will make you weak and somehow less modern or strong, whereas this is only about mastering feminine AND masculine energies within you equally.

Why is it essential to be aware of this? 

The feminine response is to receive, appreciate and enjoy. On a date with a man, this masculine and feminine Energy dynamic create a polarity. Polarity and romantic tension are essential to set a romantic relationship apart from a friendship, a family relationship and a work-relationship. 

This awareness and of course, acting on it -implementing this new information can go a loooong way. 🙂 

Private client example: Alina. A beautiful woman, inside and out, who could not get past the two weeks mark of dating with men. It was her pattern to approach the dates with splitting the check and making sure the man could see how great she was. I also call this auditioning mode and being in masculine Energy, with men. After our first 90 minutes intensive session, Alina said it was like ‘several lightbulbs’ went on in her head. By following my advice, she was able to break her pattern and was in a committed relationship within three weeks. 

What if he does not pay? 

He may not want to pay, and that is fine. He does not have to. He may be hesitant to pay because he experienced women being offended by that. Yes, men can be confused too, when it comes to dating and who does what. 

Disclaimer: I am NOT in any way, implying this means you should step up and sort this out. On the contrary, I am asking you to hold the space for him to figure this out. 

Because when a man who wants to pay and be in masculine mode with you can see that you will appreciate it. He will get over his hesitation, pick up the check and feel good about himself. 

What should you do? -The same Anlina did. 🙂

I want you to get away from the “I got this!” and picking up the check, showing him how strong and modern you are. 

Hold that space and see what happens. Suppose you are in feminine Energy, his reaction will show you, if he is in his masculine Energy with you, or not. No judgement and wrong or right here at all. Just observation and finding out whether the two of you are a match or not. 

If he is unwilling to step up, provide and pay then, that is your clue. And you can release him peacefully to a woman who wants to be in her masculine Energy with him. It is a free world, and there is a match for everyone out there. Important is also to NOT make this about you or your worth. This was just a one-time experience to see if you are compatible. Nothing more than that. 

Modern Queen Mindset in Dating: A ‘No’, from one man, means one step forward towards the ‘Yes’, with a man who is compatible with you.

What is a match in this context?

A match in my coaching is when two people in a romantic relationship are balanced out when it comes to masculine and feminine energy. Two masculine energy partners will get into confrontation constantly, whereas two feminine energy partners will not get anywhere. Since it simply means, that in their combination, one partner is the primarily feminine energy partner and the other partner is the primarily masculine energy partner. Carrying these opposite charges makes for the polarity and keeps up the romantic attraction and tension we are all looking for and want to sustain long term. 

Does that mean I can never do or give (back) anything?

Gosh no, of course not. 

Being in that mode is what I call the entitled or demanding princess attitude. A grown-up man who is looking for a life partner does not want to feel he is dealing with ‘a damsel in distress’ that constantly needs rescuing and fixing and can not step one foot in front of the other all by herself. 🙂 He is looking for the Archetype of a Modern Queen, a woman who is strong and can hold her own forth AND who at the same time can receive from him and appreciate him for it. 

Which leads me to -You are giving back on a date…

… you bless him with your feminine magical presence. 

Yes, that is how much self-worth I want you to embody.

… you appreciate him for his masculine presence.

… you say ‘Thank you’, for everything he does for you. 

… you smile, and you ENJOY things! 

Enjoy dating and practising this, 

Anna Eden 


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